Please know that this reflects our family's experience potty-training three kids (so far.) As with everything, there is more than one way to skin a cat, and your mileage might vary.
Potty Readiness
How do you know when your child is ready to go on the potty? Here are some signs:
- He hides to poop.
- Diapers are sometimes dry when you change him.
- The preschool won't let him come in diapers. (This was our sign.)
My philosophy was that I wanted potty-training to be quick and easy. We would try it for two days, and if we weren't 90% done in those two days, we would put the diapers back on and try again in a month or so. This worked well, as it kept the tears and stress to a minimum.
Cloth Diaper Options for Potty Training
First, let me put this out there so I am clear: I do not believe in purchasing a set of special potty-training pants. You heard me right - the woman who owns a cloth diaper store does not want to sell you anything. You can potty-train without buying anything new.
I blame disposable pull-up diapers for the confusion. They look different from regular sposies, and they are marketed by manufacturers and by parents as "big boy" or "big girl" pants, but they are exactly the same as diapers, just with a different closure. Most parents treat them the same way, too: they start the child in them sometime during the 2nd or 3rd year, but let the child poop and pee in them, and that's the problem. You spent more on them, and you know they are different, but to the child, it feels the same, so they continue to be comfortable pooping and peeing in them. They are designed for this, and they hold a full poop or pee (or two.)
People take this experience and want something similar in cloth. The problem is, it is hard to get something to look like "big boy pants" (trim, pulls up, etc.) and holds full poops and pees. Manufacturers are getting better at this, and more and more designs are coming out these days, but I feel that the same problem crops up: it's just another thing to poop and pee in, that doesn't feel much different to the child.
Where the real problem comes is when the parents want a training pant that will last all night for a child who is not yet night-potty-trained. It doesn't exist. Just use a cloth diaper. If your child still wets the bed and is too big for large or extra-large cloth diapers, then just use those special nighttime pull-ups or disposable underwear. One of my children occasionally wet the bed for years, and it is normal and common. No five year old wants to wear a diaper, so just get the Underjams and be done with it.
At this point, I fully expect some disagreement, and that is cool. I can take it. If you have used and loved Antsy Pants or the new Flip or GroVia trainers, cool. I'm not saying you did anything wrong, but I am trying to save you money. We get asked for trainers all the time, but we don't carry them because we don't want to sell anything we can't stand behind 100%.
How to Potty Train
Potty Training Boot Camp (my preferred method):
- Pick a time when it is not freezing and you don't have many errands.
- Take the child's pants and diapers off.
- Put them on the potty every 30-60 minutes.
- If they have an accident, no big deal, talk about the potty, and keep trying.
- At night, put a regular diaper on them.
- If it doesn't work after 2-3 days, give up for a month.
- When they wake up with a dry diaper for 7 days in a row, stop using the night diaper and lay a waterproof pad under them.
Gradual Potty Training:
- Use something that is different from your normal cloth diapers.
- Take them to the potty often.
- Stop using the diapers/pullups when they are dry most of the time.
- At night, put a regular diaper on them.
- When they wake up with a dry diaper for 7 days in a row, stop using the night diaper and lay a waterproof pad under them.
The key to this one is to make the diapers less comfortable and still to put them on the potty often. If you have been using stay-dry diapers, make them feel wet. For pocket diapers, take the inserts out of the pocket and lay cotton prefolds inside against their skin (like an all-in-two.) We just used our infant prefolds from the newborn stage. No extra expense! If you gotta buy something, buy some cute, snug-fitting covers and use those.
The idea is, when the child pees or poops, it will feel cold and wet and sag away from their body. This is not so easy to ignore as a nice dry pocket would be. We did this with our daughter, and after a month of this, she had enough. Also, you are basically recreating the design of those new fancy training pants, minus the stretchy side panels. It may not slide up and down quite as smoothly, so if that is important to you, go ahead and buy the cloth pull-ups. It never bothered me enough to spend the money.